April 07, 2003
Putting the lip in solipsism since 1985

I’ve been thinking about doing one of those "one hundred things about me" lists, but I don’t figure I’d have the attention span. So instead, here’s something shorter and more interactive - The Jane Quiz!

True or False:

1. Jane can always spot an Ionic column, but has a devil of a time telling Doric from Corinthian.

2. Jane knows her moon sign.

3. Jane thinks doughnuts are overrated.


Multiple Choice:

4. Jane finds writing about herself in the third person to be:

a. a refreshing change.
b. creepy, but sometimes necessary for narrative coherence.

5. Which does Jane regret more?

a. Leaving a Ph.D. program to take an MFA instead.
b. That time when she was coming home from the airport, carrying a big shoulder bag, and some skate punk came at her and ducked down to skate under her bag, and she didn’t have the reflexes or the presence of mind to drop the bag right front of him before it was too late to turn, so he would fall off and she could point and laugh and say, "Eat pavement, you little punk!!"

6. How does Jane order her whisky?

a. "Neat."
b. "Straight."
c. "Gaily iceless."
d. Jane is a teetotaler.

7. What is Jane’s bowling average?

a. 291
b. 191
c. 91
d. Jane? In rented shoes? You’ve got to be kidding.

8. Which of the following directions was given by Jane during a rehearsal?

a. "Louder. Faster. Funnier."
b. "What this scene needs is a conga line."
c. "What’s your motivation? If you don’t, I’ll kick your ass."
d. All of the above.


Extra Credit Essay:

Jane throws like a girl. Discuss, including appropriate references to Title IX.