After starving myself for a month, I’ve been bingeing on media commodities, hence the lack of entries. I’m three-quarters of the way through Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, and I’m relieved to say that in spite of the presence of Norse gods, my book isn’t in the same territory, and the few ideas we have in common aren’t original to either of us. So if I can get an agent to read my book, I don’t have to worry about getting tossed on "somebody else just published this" grounds. At least not that I know of. Ack.

I’ve also been spending a lot of time at the movies - this is where I could take a cheap shot like, "Most of it was at Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," but my problem wasn’t with its length per se.

My problem was with the pacing: it was in such in hurry to tell us everything it told us nothing. There was no time to appreciate anything before we were halfway through the next transitionless scene. There was no time to develop characters or build suspense (suspense is a function of timing and anticipation, not surprise, so the fact that all the book readers in the audience know what’s coming is no excuse). And I don’t care how much plot you stuff in, without suspense or character development I’m going to get bored.

Yes, the quidditch scene was better, and the spiders were completely creepy. But mostly watching this movie was like overhearing people telling each other about a really good episode of a TV show they all saw the night before.

The waste of acting talent was also hard to take - sometimes it felt like I was a watching a series of cameo appearances. "Ooh, it’s Harry Potter and the Rapidly Spinning Merry-Go-Round of Good Actors! Hey, look - there goes Julie Walters!"

So where do you get the time for something like character development when you're trying to film so much story? It’s easier said than etc. that you make some tough choices and cut out some scenes. But at the very least you tighten up the bit with the car falling through the Whomping Willow, because we saw something very much like it in Jurassic Park. Same deal with (cover your eyes if you haven’t read the book, not that it matters much, ‘cause really, there isn’t a lick of suspense about it) the blinded basilisk getting right up close to Harry.

Last year I kept insisting that the perfect director for the Harry Potter movies would be Danny Devito (if you don’t believe me, go rent his version of Roald Dahl’s Matilda), but I am intrigued by the idea of Alfonso Cuarón doing the third one.

Okay, I don't have a really strong ending for this post, so, uh, let's all clap for Hagrid! Now hum something uplifting and slowly pan away from the entry.