I'm leaning against a fence in a Wyeth landscape, standing next to an old friend who is exceedingly unlikely to smoke crack.

MY FRIEND: So what's new with you?

ME: My book got published.

MF: That's good.

ME: Yeah. How about you?

MF: I smoked my first crack pipe.

ME: Huh. How'd that go?

MF: Eh.

Vincent Gallo, dressed as in Buffalo '66, walks by.

VINCENT GALLO: Hey.

MF: Hey.

ME: Hey. (When VG is out of earshot) God, he's creepy.

VOICE OF GOD FROM ON HIGH: No kidding. Did you see The Brown Bunny?

ME: Wouldn't You know if I'd seen The Brown Bunny? (Pause) I mean, really, wouldn't You know if I was ever going to see The Brown Bunny?

Long, long, long, long, long, long, long pause.

ME: I hate it when He does that.