Here’s the plan:

We build a bunch of non-sentient robots, see? They look just like normal pedestrians, and we program them to walk around, blindly obeying traffic laws. If the light turns green, they go. And hey, let’s make it interesting - maybe sometimes they stop briefly but suddenly in the middle of crosswalks, because, you know, the law says cars should be at least an entire lane away from pedestrians crossing the street (hint: if a pedestrian can reach out and smack any part of a vehicle, that vehicle is too fucking close).

On the inside these robots are meaty and juicy, just like real pedestrians, so if some aggressive, rude, and/or inattentive fuck in a car hits one, the robot thunks and crunches and splatters just like a real pedestrian. And maybe we let the driver think they hit an actual person for a day or a week or a year or forever.

Because, you see, if I were a meaty, juicy pedestrian robot I would have been hit not once but twice on my way home from work yesterday, and I’m still pretty pissed off about it.