"The black pant is back."
- slogan on a Gap billboard

So you've come crawling back. I can't believe your nerve. Did you have any idea how much I'd grown to depend on you when you left for who knows where? If it weren't for khakis and capris, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. And now you expect to come waltzing back, reclaiming your place in my heart and my closet.

Bastard.

I don't want to hear it. You always say it will be different this time, that you�ll stay, but then you�re gone again, off to "rework yourself", whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. And you come back, still the same black pant. Sure, you make some superficial changes. Last year�s boot cut is this year�s flare. But you�re still the same. Always the same.

I mean, just look at that tab waist band...it's...it�s like it used to be, when we first met. When we were happy.

Oh, hell. I just can't stay mad at you.

But I swear, if you even think of riding up I'll leave you for the black UtiliKilt and I�ll never look back.