June 19, 2002
For Creepy Eyes Only

To: All Creepy Guys
From: The Creepy Guys Board of Directors
Re: Security Breach

Creepy Guys:
We're all familiar with the thing we do when we're just standing or sitting around and a woman walks toward us: we check out her breasts for a while, then gaze off in the opposite direction as she gets closer, casually turning our heads so that 1) it looks like we're not checking her out, and 2) we're all set to check out her ass as she walks by ("The Maneuver").

Well, creepy guys, it has come to our attention that they're on to us. Apparently a few of you less subtle types have ruined it for everyone.

Creepy Guy Creepy Behavior R&D is looking for alternatives. In the meantime, we recommend that you discontinue use of The Maneuver. Please revert to The Maneuver's predecessor (see earlier directive regarding the proper use of large, mirrored sunglasses).

The Creepy Guys Board of Directors
"Keepin' It Creepy"